DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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