Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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