I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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