Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
