i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
