I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
