Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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