I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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