that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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