guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
