Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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