why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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