And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
