They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
