so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
