I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
