i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
