Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
