so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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