Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
