Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
