I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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