Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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