Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
