My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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