If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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