I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
