if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
