I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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