then he tried to convert me to islam
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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