My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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