Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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