last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Randomize
