happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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