We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
