Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize