why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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