Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
