No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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