I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
