Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
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