The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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