i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
