He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
you traded sex for a burrito?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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