you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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