i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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