I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
