so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
