i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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