You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
