Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
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