don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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