Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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