so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
