Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize