69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
