i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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