Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Best friends brother. Beat that.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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