I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
